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Оригинальные сценарии:

ACV: Корень всему злу | The Route of All Evil

Автор сценария: Dan Vebber
Режиссёр: Brian Sheesley
FUTURAMA

Episode 503

"THE ROUTE OF ALL EVIL"

By

Dan Vebber

Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet




[Opening Credits. Caption: Disclaimer. Any Resemblance To Actual
Robots Would Be Really Cool.]


[7^11 Store. Fry, Bender and Leela peruse the beer fridge.]



BENDER
Ah beer! So many choices! And it makes
so little difference.


FRY
How 'bout Löbrau? It has dots on it.



BENDER
Overruled. The choice of champions is
Pabst Blue Robot!


FRY
I can't drink that! The metal shavings
make my throat bloody.


BENDER
(mocking) Waah waah! Baby wants a Zima!



LEELA
Hey hey! We can all fight when we're
drunk. Now listen: Why don't we just
brew our own beer?


BENDER
You can brew your own beer?


LEELA
Sure, the kids at the orphanarium used
to do it all the time.


[Bender stares for a while then his head springs off.]


[Planet Express: Lounge. Hermes, LaBarbara, Farnsworth, Cubert
and Hermes' son Dwight are there. Dwight has dreads and wears
a shirt made of the Jamaican flag.]


HERMES
Cursed bacteria of Liberia. My own son
suspended from boarding school.


DWIGHT
It's not my fault Dad.


FARNSWORTH
And you Cubert. I cloned you from one
of my warts and I can send you straight
back in there.


CUBERT
Nuh-uh!


[Enter Zoidberg.]


ZOIDBERG
What's going on? Is this angry yelling
or busted hearing aid yelling?


HERMES
I'm afraid it's both.


FARNSWORTH
(shouting) What?


LABARBARA
Now hold on, everyone cool your daiquiris!
Let's give the little vermin a chance
to explain themselves.


DWIGHT
It was self defence Mom. Just look at
the letter the Principal sent.We were
in science class and we had just finished
building a minature black hole.


CUBERT [ON TV]
That was easy.


[Bret Blob, a horrible gelatinous blob, scoffs.]


BRET [ON TV]
Pretty scrawny black hole. It must be
hungry.


CUBERT [ON TV]
Duh! Black holes don't need food.


BRET [ON TV]
Neither do nerds!


[He picks up Cubert and Dwight's lunch boxes and throws them
in the black hole. The black hole disappears.]



[Bret laughs.]


CUBERT [ON TV]
That's it Bret. You've compressed our
lunches to a singularity for the last
time! Salt him Dwight!


[He and Dwight pick up some jars of salt and shake it over Bret.
He dissolves into a green puddle.]


BRET [ON TV]
When I resolidify, I'm gonna put you
in a world of goop!


[Cubert and Dwight scream.]


CUBERT
See? That bully started it. We couldn't
fight back with brawn so we used our
brains!


FARNSWORTH
I've warned you not to use those things!



[Planet Express: Kitchen. Fry, Bender and Leela are starting
their beer.]


LEELA
Let's see. We've got our malt, our hops...we
just need a big disposable tub to mix
it in.


BENDER
Yo!


[He leans back so his chest cabinet is horizontal. Fry and Leela
pour in the ingredients.]


LEELA
Now it needs to boil for a couple hours.



[Bender hops onto the gas hob and turns it on. He whistles. Enter
Farnsworth, Hermes, Dwight and Cubert. Dwight is playing a computer
game.]


HERMES
Dwight, you remember the crew?


DWIGHT
(unenthusiastically) Eh...


FARNSWORTH
Crew, you remember Cubert?Wonderful!
And I'm sure you won't mind being their
legal guardians for a month!


[He and Hermes run out.]


CUBERT
Well, well.If it isn't my old friend
stretchpants......no pants and...He
looks at Fry.]...idiot!


BENDER
We're making beer! I'm the brewery.



DWIGHT
I heard alcohol makes you stupid.


FRY
No I'm...doesn't.


LEELA
Actually Dwight you're right. Alcohol
is very very bad...for children. But
once you turn 21 it becomes very very
good! So scram!


[Dwight and Cubert walk out the room muttering.]


DWIGHT
Aw man!


CUBERT
Stupid...


[Cut to: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth is fiddling
with a machine.]


CUBERT
Hey Dad! What useless contraption are
you half-baking today?


FARNSWORTH
Eh wha? Oh! This is my latest invention.
A device that lets anyone sound exactly
like me!


[Cubert tries it out.]


CUBERT
(Farnsworth's voice) Good news everyone!
I'm a horse's butt!


FARNSWORTH
I am? That's not good news at all you
little...


[He shakes his fist and Cubert screams in Farnsworth's voice
and runs away. Dwight looks at the machine.]


DWIGHT
What's this device's marketability?
Who's the target consumer?


FARNSWORTH
There is no target consumer! Only targets.
Targets that will tremble as their new
master hands down edicts in my glorious
booming voice!Now quit pestering me
you scoundrels!


[Hermes' Office. He is stamping and singing.]


Hermes; (singing) Stamp it...file it...oh yeah! Send it overnight!



[Enter Cubert and Dwight. Dwight sees a pile of papers.]


DWIGHT
Can I collate that?


HERMES
No!


CUBERT
Can I shread these contracts?


HERMES
No!


[Cubert shreads them anyway. Dwight picks something up.]


DWIGHT
Wow! A powerstamper!


[He turns it on. It stamps objects around the room, including
Hermes' head.]


HERMES
Now look at all the work I gotta do!
Ow!


[Cut to: Planet Express: Corridor. Dwight and Cubert run out
of Hermes' office laughing.]


[Planet Express: Kitchen. Bender belches foam. Leela tastes it.]



LEELA
Mmm. The ingredients are cooked. And
they've picked up some of your natural
robot flavourings. Time to add the yeast.



[Fry takes Bender's antenna off and Leela puts a funnel in then
tips the yeast in.]


BENDER
Yeast? You mean I'll have a lifeform
growing inside me? (crying) It's so
beautiful.


[He blows his nose. Leela wrist thing rings. She presses a button.]



LEELA
Talk to me.



[Cut to: Planet Express: Attic Balcony. Dwight and Cubert are
sat with the machine that mimics Farnsworth's voice. It is Cubert
who is talking to Leela.]


CUBERT
(Farnsworth's voice) Sorry I can't come
down to say goodbye, but I'm busy inventing
useless junk.


[He passes the machine to Dwight.]


DWIGHT
(Farnsworth's voice) And I smell bad.



[They laugh.]


[Outside Planet Express. The ship takes off.]


[Time Lapse. A week later the ship lands.]


[Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The crew emerge from the ship.
Farnsworth and Hermes stand at the bottom of the steps with Cubert
and Dwight. Cubert is playing on Dwight's game. Leela takes it
from him, squeezes it and breaks it.]


CUBERT
Hey!


[She grabs both of them by their shirts.]


LEELA
If you were my kids you'd get quite
a talking to...from your father......when
he got home from the senate.


FARNSWORTH
Oh bother, what have they done now?



[Bender rolls his sleeves up.]


BENDER
Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake
delivery.


FRY
The address was on Dogdoo 8 but the
universe ends right after Dogdoo 7!



HERMES
Child man, is this true?


DWIGHT
Yeah, but why are you mad at us? Your
dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously
fake mission!


[Cubert points at Bender.]


CUBERT
Plus, you're making bootleg beer inside
company property!


BENDER
(shouting) Lies! Lies and slander!



[He belches foam.]


FARNSWORTH
Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed?
That's the last straw! You boys have
been underfoot long enough!


HERMES
You jerked the words right outta my
mouth. We're their fathers and its high
time we acted like it.


[Bender rubs his hands together with glee.]


BENDER
Ooo-hoo! Here comes violence!


[Hermes clears his throat.]


HERMES
Get a job you lazy kids!


[Dwight and Cubert gasp in horror. Bender is disappointed.]



BENDER
I guess if you want children beaten......you
have to do it yourself.


[Outside Planet Express. Dwight and Cubert have set up something
and put a white sheet over it. They lead Farnsworth and Hermes
to some chairs.]


CUBERT
Come on Dad, shuffle faster!


DWIGHT
You don't wanna miss the unveiling of
our new company do you?


[Hermes and Farnsworth sit down.]


HERMES
Company?(mocking) How cute! What will
you be pedalling? Lemonade? Shoe shines?
Cootie insurance?


FARNSWORTH
(mocking) Perhaps they've constructed
a teddybear hospital!


[They laugh.]


CUBERT
Actually, we're starting a competing
delivery company.


[He pulls the sheet off to reveal a logo that says Awesome Express.
Hermes and Farnsworth look at each other and stand up.]


HERMES
Welcome to the world of business!


[He and Farnsworth start kicking the logo.]


FARNSWORTH
Who's going to use a delivery service
with a kicked sign? Nobody that's who!



DWIGHT
But we already have a client signed
up! We're delivering the Daily Supernova.



[He holds up the newspaper. On it is a headline: Space Monster
To City: Grrrrr!. Beside it is a picture of a Godzilla-like creature.
Hermes chuckles.]


HERMES
So your delivery company is just a cute
harmless paper route?


[Farnsworth wipes his brow.]


FARNSWORTH
Phew!


DWIGHT
No. Its a serious business.


FARNSWORTH
(mocking) Yes its a tremendous responsibility
alright!What if a paper were to land
in a puddle?


HERMES
(mocking) Civilisation as we know it
might get splashed!


[He and Farnsworth laugh and ruffle their sons' hair.]


[Planet Express: Balcony. Cubert and Dwight have set up a new
sign.]


DWIGHT
Why do they always treat us like dumb
kids? We're practically old enough to
find the Fox Network infantile!


CUBERT
Ah we'll show 'em. All Awesome Express
needs is a sturdy interstellar delivery
craft!Voila! You got a quarter?



[Dwight pulls out a coin. Cubert rips out the ad and puts it
in an envelope with the quarter and puts the envelope in the
mailbox. It flies off down a message tube.]


DWIGHT
Man, that ad said to allow four to six
seconds for delivery.


[Cubert snorts.]


CUBERT
More like seven!


[A mail tube shoots out of the box and knocks Cubert off his
feet.]


[Planet Express: Lounge. Bender is sat on the couch. His casing
is a little bigger than usual and he looks pregnant. Enter Fry
and Leela.]


BENDER
I'm really starting to swell up with
beer. I must look ridiculous.


FRY
No, you have a healthy glow.


[Bender belches.]


BENDER
Oh my God! I just felt it ferment!



LEELA
Ooo! Let me feel.Have you thought
about what to name it?


BENDER
I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an
ale, Botweiser if it's a lager.


FRY
I hope it's a lager so I can take it
to a ball game.Ooo! I felt that one!



[Outside Planet Express. At the back of the building Dwight and
Cubert finish putting together their hovercraft. They are wearing
spacesuits.]


CUBERT
Uh, there's a crack in the hull here.
That could cause explosive decompression.



DWIGHT
Put a sticker on it.


[He hands Cubert a sticker for Mom's Moron Oil For Dumb Robots.
Farnsworth and Hermes walk around the corner.]


HERMES
Off on your first delivery eh? You be
careful my little tinkler.Remember
we used to call you that huh? Tinkler?



[A Daily Supernova van pulls up. Sal throws out a bundle of papers.]



SAL
Gets movin'! Those newspapers won'ts
deliver themselveses! Only the Sunday
edition can dos that.


[He drives off.]


FARNSWORTH
Goodness there must be 50 papers in
that bundle! That's a big number, 50.



CUBERT
Yeah if you're an idiot!


[He and Dwight climb into the hovercraft. Dwight counts down.]



DWIGHT
3. 2. 1.


CUBERT
All systems go.


DWIGHT
Blast off!


[The hovercraft blasts off. It is pedal powered. Dwight and Cubert
pedal and it flies up into the sky.]


HERMES
(shouting) See you at din-din!


FARNSWORTH
(shouting) I'm blowing you a kiss.



[He blows it. Cubert "sees" it coming towards him and screams.]



CUBERT
Take evasive action!


[He and Dwight pedal around to avoid the kiss.]


FARNSWORTH
(shouting) It's closing in! You can't
avoid it! It's a cheek-seeker. And...gotcha!



[Cubert screams and spits.]


[Montage Dwight and Cubert fly their hovercraft through a posh
estate called Maple Craters in a sequence lifted from the Paperboy
game from the late 1980's. They throw a paper to a woman, then
they are chased by a dog (which is then eaten by the space monster
from The Empire Strikes Back). Back on Earth Sal delivers more
papers to them. At Maple Craters they pass Bret Blob's house.
He throws some slime at them and it hits their hovercraft. Cubert
hands a paper to Dwight and he throws it through the Blobs' window.
Cubert and Dwight laugh. Back on Earth Sal delivers even more
papers. Then they are presented an award at the Paperboys Of
The Week ceremony. Their photo makes the front page of the Daily
Supernova with the headline Paperboys Win Award On Slow News
Day. They throw the last paper to the last house and fly back
to Earth.]


[Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat at the table.
Bender is knitting a beer bottle cover.]


HERMES
Business is down. So I filed papers
to have you all reclassified as slaves.



[Enter Dwight and Cubert with a wheelbarrow with a big lump in
it covered by a sheet.]


FARNSWORTH
Well, well, well. If it isn't our little
muchkin moguls!


[He tickles them.]


HERMES
What's the trouble men? Need some penny
rolls for your profits?


CUBERT
Actually, thank's to Dwight's brilliant
accounting and my unaccountable brilliance......our
paper route now has over a million customers!



[He pulls the sheet off the wheelbarrow, revealing the lump to
be a huge pile of money. Hermes and Farnsworth stand gawping
at it, dumbstruck.]


DWIGHT
We're finally making more money than
you guys! Aren't you impressed now Pops?
Aren'tcha? Aren'tcha?


HERMES
Uh, in a small way yes. But you still
don't have your own building, your own
conference table or...or one of those
things!


[He points at Zoidberg.]


ZOIDBERG
Hello!


[He waves.]


[Planet Express: Balcony. Dwight and Cubert lean against the
wall with their wheelbarrow.]


DWIGHT
Our Dads are never impressed, no matter
what we do.


CUBERT
Maybe we should start a fire.


DWIGHT
If we really want to impress them we'll
have to crush them with strategy...Dwight
Lightning!


[He pulls out a pad with "Dwight Lightning" written on the front.]



CUBERT
Very well. But I get to name the next
strategy.


[Planet Express: Lounge. Leela, Fry and Bender are sat watching
a TV programme.]


ANNOUNCER [ON TV]
This week on The Real World: The Sun.



MAN [ON TV]
Argh! I'm burning to death!


[Leela scoffs.]


LEELA
You know how much an apartment that
big would cost on the Sun?


[Fry turns the TV off. Enter Farnsworth and Hermes.]


HERMES
People, as you know our young sons have
become great successes in the very same
field as us.



FRY [SIMULTANEOUSLY]
That's great!



HERMES
Naturally, we're humiliated.


FARNSWORTH
That's why we need you, our loyal crew,
to make Planet Express 800% more profitable.



[Hermes sets up a chart.]


HERMES
We'll start by slashing salaries. And
this time I mean really slash.


LEELA
Uh guys, I don't know how to tell you
this. So I'll just let Fry blurt it
out thoughtlessly.


FRY
We don't work for you anymore!


[Hermes gasps.]


FARNSWORTH
What?


LEELA
Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer.
We're paperboys now.


[Enter Cubert and Dwight.]


CUBERT
Incoming! We got papers to stuff team!
Hup two hup two!


[The Awesome Express team get up.]


FRY
Yes sir!


BENDER
On our way!


LEELA
We're on it Mr Farnsworth!


[Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth and Hermes address
the crew.]


FARNSWORTH
Folks, the situation is grim but we
shall prevail, thanks to you, our crack
team of loyal dregs!


[Scruffy sits with his feet on the table, Amy puts make up on
and Zoidberg sits, listening. Hermes looks at Scruffy.]


HERMES
I don't even know who this guy is!



SCRUFFY
I'm Scruffy, the janitor.


FARNSWORTH
Yes, of course you are. Now we've got
to buckle down and save Planet Express.



SCRUFFY
I'm on break.


[He picks up a bag of Potato Chips and slowly munches them.]



[Enter the Awesome Express crew.]


CUBERT
Sorry to interrupt this "whirlwind of
activity" but we have an announcement.



[Dwight walks over to Hermes.]


DWIGHT
I direct your attention to these forms,
which I'm presently engaged in handing
to you.


[Hermes takes the forms and reads them.]


HERMES
Sweet guineapig of Winnipeg! They've
taken over our company!


FARNSWORTH
Balderdash! I never agreed to that!



DWIGHT
No. But you did declare yourself dead
three years ago as a tax dodge.


FARNSWORTH
Tax dodge nothing! You take one nap
in a ditch in the park and they start
declaring you this and that.


CUBERT
Either way I technically inherit your
building and your spaceship. Which mean
Planet Express is now......Awesome Express!



[Hermes and Farnsworth gasp.]


HERMES
(angry) You rotten kids! (nicely) Will
you be hiring?


DWIGHT
No.


HERMES
(angry) You rotten kids!


[Awesome Express: Hangar. Leela sprays the ship red. Bender and
Fry finish loading the papers onto the cargo bay lift.]


FRY
There. One million papers. Folded and
loaded!


[Cubert jet packs up to Leela with something in his hands.]



CUBERT
Hey Leela, help me apply these flame
decals I got in my cereal. They'll make
the ship go faster.


LEELA
And what's your scientific basis for
thinking that?


CUBERT
I'm 12.


[Cut to: Outside Awesome Express. Hermes and Farnsworth walk
across the street, carrying boxes of their stuff. The ship blasts
off and they watch. Farnsworth sighs.]


FARNSWORTH
Did I ever tell you how I used to own
that ship?


[They walk away.]


[Cut to: Street. They walk past a dumpster. Zoidberg pops out
of it and watches Farnsworth and Hermes walk by sadly.]


ZOIDBERG
There but for the grace of God.


[He dives back in and gobbles up some scraps.]


[Awesome Express: Lounge. Fry and Bender are sat on the couch
watching All My Circuits. Bender sings to his bump to the tune
of Hush Little Baby.]


BENDER
(singing) Hush little brewsky don't
you leak. Daddy wants to drink for at
least a week.Oh my God! I think it's
time!


[Leela runs in.]


FRY
Hurry Leela, get some coasters and cold
mugs.


[Awesome Express: Meeting Room. Bender lies on the table with
his head on Leela's lap. Fry puts the beer in bottles. Bender
cries in pain.]


FRY
Push Bender push!


LEELA
You're doing great!


[Bender cries again.]


BENDER
It feels like I'm trying to push a water
bed out of me.


FRY
Almost there. Just two more bottles.



BENDER
Is it OK? I can't hear anything.


[The last of the beer drains from Bender. Fry holds a bottle
up.]


FRY
It's an ale! 5 gallons, 6 ounces!


[He slaps a Benderbrau label on the bottle then hands the crate
of beer to Bender who hugs it.]


[Enter Dwight and Cubert.]


DWIGHT
Hey, what's goin' on? This is a delivery
company not a delivery room!


CUBERT
We just busted our bums delivering a
million newspapers and this is how you
greet us? With a bunch of frosty cold
beers?


FRY
Hey wait a second. How did you deliver
a million papers in one hour?


CUBERT
Uh...we just did OK? 'Cause we're awesome!
Yeah!


DWIGHT
Yeah awesome!


[The phone rings. Leela answers.]


LEELA
Hello, Awesome Express, the rude, crude
delivery dudes! How may I direct your
call?...What's that?...You haven't gotten
your paper?...In how long?...


[Five more phones ring. Dwight and Cubert act nervously.]


[The Conrads' Dining Room. LaBarbara, Hermes and Farnsworth sit
at the table eating. Farnsworth holds up his empty plate.]



FARNSWORTH
Uh, might a homeless old man have a
touch more beef bourguignon? And another
tequila slammer?Please?


LABARBARA
Don't you sweet talk me you wrinkly
old tube sack!


[Hermes holds up his glass.]


HERMES
Might I have one too wife?


LABARBARA
Ah you're both pathetic, being jealous
of your own offspring. Now you should
be happy they became successes, instead
of following in your footstamps.


HERMES
Oh it's true. But they grow up so fast.
We just wanted a few more years of being
better than them.


FARNSWORTH
They're so stinking talented they don't
even need their fathers anymore.


[He and Hermes hug and cry. Cubert and Dwight run in and run
into their father's arms.]


CUBERT
Dad! We screwed up!


FARNSWORTH
You did? Tough luck suckers!


DWIGHT
Please, help us Pops. We agreed to deliver
way more papers than we can handle.



CUBERT
(crying) But we couldn't handle them
so we started dumping the extras in
a crater on the Moon.


[He cries more.]


DWIGHT
(crying) And now everyone's yelling
at us about our missing papers!


CUBERT
(crying) And now we don't know what
to do!


[Hermes and Farnsworth laugh very loudly then sigh. They put
their sons on their laps.]


FARNSWORTH
Why did you boys do all this?


DWIGHT
(crying) We just wanted you to be proud
of us.


HERMES
Proud of you? You ruined us with sleazy
business practices and a complete disregard
for human decency. But, of course we're
proud of you.


FARNSWORTH
Damn right we are! Now come on. Let's
go do a little Father/Son weaseling
out of this.


[The newly repainted Planet Express ship flys away from Earth
and hovers over the crater on the Moon.]



[The cargo bay hatch opens and a net comes out and wraps around
the papers. It hoists them out of the craters and the ship flies
off. As they approach Maple Craters the port torpedo door opens
and a gun pops out.]


[Ship's Torpedo Room. Hermes is sat behind the gun with the papers
scattered around the room.]


HERMES
OK boys, let me show you how a paper
man does it.


[He grabs the gun and shoots the papers to the houses.]


[Cut to: Maple Craters. Some papers hit the doors, some hit cars
and one hits the little prince from the novel of the same name.
He tumbles away into the void of space.]


BOY
Au revoir!!


[Cut to: Ship's Torpedo Room.]


DWIGHT
Can I use the gun Dad?


HERMES
Aw what kind of father would I be if
I said no?


[He lifts Dwight into the chair.]


[Cut to: Maple Craters. Dwight fires the papers to their houses.]



[Cut to: Ship's Torpedo Room.]


DWIGHT
Only one house to go. We did it!


[He, Cubert, Hermes and Farnsworth cheer. The screen beeps and
displays the Blob house. Inside Bret Blob lifts weights.]


DWIGHT
Run away! That bully Bret Blob lives
there!


CUBERT
He's ugly, mean, stupid, stink, mucus!
And last week...we sort of...broke his
window.


HERMES
Alright, alright. What do we do when
we break somebody's window?


DWIGHT
(sheepish) Pay for it?


[Hermes laughs.]


HERMES
Heavens no! We apologise! With nice
cheap words!


[Outside Blob House. Hermes rings the doorbell. Bret answers.]



BRET
I thought I heard the doorbell but I
see it was the dorkbell!


[He laughs. Cubert and Dwight laugh nervously.]


DWIGHT
Man, we had it coming Bret!


FARNSWORTH
Now now, no need to give us the business.
We'd like a word with you daddy.


BRET
Whatever. (shouting) Daaad!


HERMES
Don't worry boys. I'm sure his father
is a perfectly normal reasonable man.



[Horrible Gelatinous Blob comes out of the door with his tentacles
waving.]



FARNSWORTH
Mr Blob, our sons have come to apologise
for damaging your window. They've learned
their lesson and they want to make amends.



CUBERT
(ashamed) Sorry sir.


DWIGHT
(ashamed) Yeah, sorry.



FARNSWORTH
Now see here. We assured our sons that
you'd accept their apology.



[He laughs. Farnsoworth and Hermes move their sons aside.]


FARNSWORTH
No one gives my son that option!


[He and Hermes roll up their sleeves.]


HERMES
Bring it on Jello-pop!


CUBERT
Yeah go Dad!


DWIGHT
Show 'em who's boss!Get 'em...Pops!



[Horrible Gelatinous Blob eats Hermes and Farnsworth.]


[Taco Bellevue Hospital. Farnsworth and Hermes are in a room
in body casts and traction.]


CUBERT
That was incredible! You are the bravest
dads in the entire trauma centre!



DWIGHT
You guys almost had him...until he digested
you.


HERMES
Aww, you're good kids.If I could feel
anything right now, it would be pride.
I was wrong! I can still feel pain!



[A knock at the door. Enter the Blobs. Horrible Gelatinous Blob
pushes Bret in. Horrible Gelatinous Blob is carrying flowers.
Hermes screams.]


FARNSWORTH
He's coming to finish the job. Someone
toss me out the window!



[Hermes and Farnsworth mull it over.]


FARNSWORTH
I suppose.


[Enter Bender with a crate of Benderbrau.]


BENDER
Hey chumps! I heard you were on the
ass end of an ass kicking so I figured
you could use a couple of these babys!



[He hands Farnsworth and Hermes a bottle each.]


HERMES
Oh why not! Might as well live it up
as long as I 've got this catheter in
me!


FARNSWORTH
Uh, won't join us Mr Blob?



[Bender hands him a bottle.]


HERMES
This is what makes life worth clinging
to. Three fathers, enjoying a day out
with their sons.


[Hermes, Farnsworth, Bender and Horrible Gelatinous Blob clink
their bottles.]


FARNSWORTH
It would seem we've taught our boys
a lesson about life: Man or Blob, it's
whats inside that counts.


[They drink their beer. Cubert and Dwight struggle and whimper.
Bret has eaten them.]


THE END


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